Hope dangles on a string

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 22:46:47 GMT

Im so stupid. Im screwing everything up. And for what ? Absolutely nothing. Why am I doing this to myself. Im the one who put myself into this situation in the first place. I always fuck everything up. I screwed everything up before and now Im screwing this up.

</3

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 03:43:48 GMT

I made a new Live journal because Ive had this one for years

My new one is amy____louise

Im going to add everyone whos already added to my old one, BUT if you dont want to be added to this one, just comment and Ill take you off.

Love you!

ADD ME BACK

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 00:12:40 GMT

Today I woke up at 12:30, and got ready to go to Media Play with my dad.
I bought A Cinderella Story, and the Straylight Run cd.

I came home and played cards with my mom..right now my grandma and grandpa are over. We opened more presents. Whew.

OMG OMG OMG, David called me today. How lovely. I miss him and hes only been gone not even one whole day.

Im waiting for Kimberly to call me back. Were going to hang out this week.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 07:19:16 GMT

Christmas was lovely, I got everything I wanted..

My NIRVANA Box set((its wonderful))
A Kurt Cobain poster
Clothes
My pink belt from hott topic
finally I got my heating blanket
Good Charlotte cd
The new Used cd ((From my love))
Some $$$

and some other stuff but those are my favorites !!!!

I love when christmas goes until like Monday:)

I miss you so much baby, your on your way to Arizona right now.

I hope everyone got what they wanted for xmas-I know I did;)

Tomorrow Im suppose to see my aunt Tammy, my grandma, and my dads suppose to take me to media play.((thats if he even ever shows up..cough cough..((loser))

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 03:13:37 GMT

Christmas eve was good, really good. I ate so much, Im so full.

Im about to go play some cards with the fam ! Yearly tradition.

Im so tired though, I cant wait for santa to come, but to tell you the truth Im not really looking forward to going to my aunts tomorrow. Theres going to be like 100 people there..whew. Hopefully I can talk Natal into going with me.

I love my cute pillow care bear David bought me. I take it everywhere with me, especially when I miss him, which has been all day. I really hope he calls me tomorrow or I wont talk to him until who knows. :(

Im gonna go.

Merry Christmas eve Joey. Rest in Peace -beautiful- angel.

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 23:08:51 GMT

Christmas break has been hott so far.

Saturday I went to Davids for like an hour and a half ! David, Ill never forget taking the Smart Bus with you ! Then I went to my aunts to celebrate my grandmas, aunts, and cousins birthdays. That was cool. Everyone was like Amy you look so old, and I was like I look the same as last year..lol..
*
Sunday I was suppose to see David but his mom wouldnt let him come over so I went shopping.
*
Monday Kimmie came over and spent the night :)
*
Tuesday JORDO and NATALIA came over. Jordan and I dyed our hair. Hers looks hott:) I just dyed my highlights purple agian. Its hott. Oh yeah, Kenny stopped over ! I havent seen him in forever ! It was nice, Ive missed him.
*
Today, Im getting ready to go shopping ! Last minute gifts for Natalia Nicole and Kimmy.
*
Davids sick, but Im going over there tomorrow. Were going to exchange our gifts, Im so excited because I hope he likes what I got him. I wont see him for the next week. Im going to miss him.

<3

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 17:05:00 GMT


stars are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Possibly Davids house today for maybe an hour or so. Just us. We havent hung out in so long. I miss him unbelievably much.

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 03:30:52 GMT

please stop breaking my heart.
Dont you see that your tearing me apart.

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 21:30:37 GMT

I cant wait until this week is over. Today was really good. Band was my favorite hour. I just talked with Curtis and his friends. Freshman are so funny. Yeah then I guess David and I are fighting. Im not really sure, and I dont really care. We always fight and its getting old, its getting to the point that I dont fucking care anymore. He walked away, yelled at me, and swore at me. Yeah so fuck you. I just walked by him, and didnt walk with him after school. Hes not going to yell at me like Im 4. Hes been doing that lately and hes not going to continue to do it.

This weekend is going to be shitty. I have no plans. I cant for break, but its not like Im going to be doing anything anyways.

Tonight is Alex's band concert.

I dont know whats going on lately but I dont like the feeling its giving me. Its going to tear us apart. You never treated me like you do now. I dont like it. Not at all.

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 22:43:49 GMT

I feel like dying. I hate you so much. I hate that you can talk all this shit about me and call me stupid for cutting myself. Your right it is a condition, one that I didnt ask for and you know nothing about it or how it makes me feel because you dont have it. You know nothing, so fuck you. Seriously, I fucking hate you. You know what, you won. Are you happy. You made me feel like shit. Yeah, Im stupid I just cut myself for the fucking fun of it.

God.

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 21:00:22 GMT

Wow, I dont know what to do anymore. Everything about us is changing. I love you, but do I really know what love is. People tell me all the time Im to young to know what love is. Love is what you feel about a person, how can you be to old, or to young. Im so confused. Sometimes I just want to say, forget it. The drama isnt worth it, but then I think some more, and I realize that -you- are worth it. Everything about you is worth it, even when you yell at me and make me want to cry, or when you make fun of me, and when we get into stupid fights. Your just so wonderful, I dont know why I am having doubts. 5 months is a long time, Im just getting scared. Im getting scared of losing you. Our relationship has been changing, and I dont know were thats going to take us. I love you. Make us better, glue us together like we were.

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 00:40:51 GMT

This weekend was the best.

:)

What a week

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 03:30:38 GMT

Well, All week has been really busy. Wednesday was the best. The concert was awesome. All the bands were really good. Jimmy Eat World was REALLY good, way better than I thought they would be. Of course The Used was HOTT, my FAV. We got out of there around 10:20, drove Kimmie home, got Taco Bell, dropped Nicole and Scott at home, then ate. I didnt go to school on Thursday. My moms party was yesterday, and Kimmie, and David came over.

David got into a car accident. Thats why I dont want to drive. I love not having to drive, Im so scared. I know I would be a good driver, but Im worried about everyone else who drives. Joe died getting into a car accident, and Davids car got trashed, and he could have gotten really hurt. That really scares me.

Today I was suppose to go to my dads. He was picking us up at 6:30. It is now 10:30 and still no call. Screw him, hes not worth waiting. He does this every weekend.

Tomorrow Im getting up at 9, and then I have an eye doctors appointment at 1:40, then off to the mall, with my mommy, and my love.

3 more days until Davids, and My 5 months ! :)

I hope I get a letter from Greg. I miss him. Im waiting..lol...

4 more days..3 months:( I miss you soo much Joseph Raymond Schulte. Lifes not the same without you. Noone smiles the same, now that your gone.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 22:57:35 GMT

Well I seng Greg almost 6 letters yesterday, not counting the letters my dad was suppose to send which he hasnt yet. I miss him, I really do, things are going to be so different when I finally see him. Im scared. But I dont have to worry for about 3 of 4 years. Christmas without him sucks.

I was talking to Scott today. He told me he wishes we could hang out more, since we havent since Ive had a bf and Im grounded. I told him we can still hang out even if I have a bf. Weve been friends for a while, and I dont want to not be friends with him. I miss him. We will be able to hang out at the concert though. Im excited.

OH YEAH 89x concert Wednesday , Im hanging out with Jordo first, then Im not going to school on Thursday. The weekend Im at my dads, and on Monday is Davids, and my 5 months !!! Im so excited ! I love him so much ! To bad we have to spend it going to care, but we get to see the lovely Nicole Stanely!

Im not sure if I like my year book hoodie. Its plain, and weird looking. Oh well !

Well time to return my uniform, that I wore once !

Love you

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 20:26:16 GMT

I got 3 lovely letters from GREGGORS ! Woot !

Im going to get my 89x tickets today for..
-me
-my wonderful mom
-the beautiful kimmie
-my lovely nicole and her brother scott

Im excited !

Well, band concert tomorrow..

<3 love you baby

Joey, I miss you so much..my beautiful angel
(may angels lead you in)

This is for Kayla G.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 21:56:18 GMT

Kayla I was reading your livejournal, Honestliar. I didnt even know you had that journal. Well I was thinking..

I realized that I have been a bad friend. I should be there for you more, and I should call you. I realize that I never call you. I hate myself for that. I wish I could have made more time for you in the past year. Im going to now. I figured if you hate me, then you hate me, but Im going to make it up to you.

Kayla, Im going to show you that you can trust me, and that you can call me a friend. Im going to show you that Im a good person, and that I am worthy of your frienship.

Honestly, I miss you so much. I hate that when I talk to you in school for like 10 sec. that I dont know what to say. I guess thats because we barely even talk anymore. I hate that I didnt go to your birthday thing last weekend. I wanted to go but I didnt even bother to ask my dad, for reasons that I have to deal with myself, so basically I was being selfish.

I hate that in the past I have fucked up our friendship. I hate that I have let you down, and that I was a bad friend. I want you to know that I have grown up and that Im mature enough to have a friend like you. We go through the same stuff, if you know it, or dont. I want to be able to talk to you about anything, and sooner or later I want you to be able to talk to me about everything.

I really do love you Kayla.

-Amy

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 22:16:35 GMT

Ok, if anyone knows how to sew, and will help me out I would love you forever. I just want to fix up my hc dress. Please, and thanks. Oh yeah Ill pay you =)

love
amy

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 19:17:16 GMT

RIP

Joseph Schulte

I love you so much

Ill miss you, always.

We havent hung out in forever but Ill never forget all those times you came over and hung with us, just to say hi, or to hang out at my partys. Ill never forget the night you went swimming with me, Kim, and Laura, and us 3 all went naked. Ill never forget that night you talked with Dustin, myself, and my mother. I really got to know you that night. Ill never forget those times where I was upset and you comforted me, or just let me bitch. I remember at Jordans party you yelled at me for having the same shoes on as you did. That was the last time I hugged you. The last time you smiled at me was the game on Thursday. I miss you already. I love you.

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 22:05:41 GMT

im quiting marching band
today is me and davids 2 months
happy labor day
schools tomorrow
i love you
i look hott in this shirt
i miss nicole

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 17:37:54 GMT

new journal..

www.greatestjournal.com/users/songsxaboutxyou

I got my letter from Greg last week.

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 20:30:54 GMT

Heres the poem Greg wrote me, Im in love with it.

-when you hurt, I hurt, when you cry, I cry, when you feel bad, I feel bad inside.
-your a beautiful girl but you don't have a clue. I know at least one person that cares about you.
-i've never lied to you, Ive always told the truth, when god made eve he should have made you.
-we are two close friends but live seperate lives. to lose you as a friend...Amy, I'd rather die. In the future I want kids and a wife, But as for now, I got something better..YOU !
I love you.

wow the whole letter made me cry. I love him more than anyone in this whole world.

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 18:27:58 GMT

The past two weeks have been the best ever. When I was up north I was a whole different person. I met new people, and hung out with Mikey and Davey, which by the way was awesome. I think this was the first year that Rachel and I had fun hanging out with them, usually Mikeys a jerk, and so is Joe, but we all got a long. I think I got along with them all just a little to much, but it was so much fun. I cant even explain all the trouble I got into. Mark came up, and that was fun, taking him down all the dirt roads and getting lost, and giving him a flat tire, but then my mom came up and the -rules- started applying, which meant I had to be home at a certain time and blah blah blah. It was crap, but hey I had 2 weeks to be 16, I can't complain. I just wish I was still up there. I miss everyone, especially Davey, because we hung out a lot, and just talked and stuff. We really got to know each other after being friends for like 12/13 years. It was cool.

I found out a lot of things when I was up north, about some of my closest friends. Im disapointed in them but whatever. They will learn I guess.

Next week I have marching band camp with KATIE ! Im excited, I miss you soo much.

Jordan when do you wanna hang out..lemme know.

Ahh, I think Im getting sick.
Yuck.

KYRSTYOF and JASON came over yesterday. I was so happy to see them. Jason got back from the Marines,and Krystof..well was being himself..lol. I love them both.

I finally got to see my Laura, but not for long. How lame.
Your spending the night one night, dont forget.

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:43:05 GMT

It seems like ever since I got home from Florida my summer is gone. When I get back next Monday I have a lot of people I need to hang out with. I miss them dearly.

*Ashley
*Katie
*laura
*Kim
*Fred
*David
*nicole
*Mary
*jill
*kayla
*Nick
*Chris
*Jordan, if she wants.
*Krystof
*Nicole

<3

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 03:32:42 GMT

I fucking hate people who try tearing my relationship up. I care about David more than anything. Everyone knows that. Hes everything to me. Hes all I talk about, and think about it. Its not fair. Why cant you mind your own fucking buisness.

God I hate you so much.
Its not right what your doing.

</3 FallenAngel12504 does anyone know who that is ?

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 04:24:36 GMT

Natalia DID call me ! YAY I just wasnt home !